On coaching and David Bowie.

‘So, how do you think you’re doing?’ I’m not sure how many times I’ve been asked this question. It’s the standard question from a therapist to get you going, to take responsibility for your life, for you to realise where you are in your process.

For some hubristic years in my twenties, I worked as a coach for others, and also went to many different coaches myself. I wanted to be a better version of myself. I thought it was possible to change myself, and others. My friend went to a therapist to learn to say ‘yes’ more. And then she had to learn to say ‘no’ more. At one point, it felt as if I was walking around inside myself with a flashlight asking: ‘Where is the real me?’ It was a very confusing time.

Some days ago, I stumbled upon this quote by David Bowie: ‘If you’re pining for youth, I think it produces a stereotypical old man because you only live in memory, you live in a place that doesn’t exist. I think ageing is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person that you always should have been.’

I wish I’d known this before. It would have saved me a lot of time and money.